Trees Are Not The Answer

Yet I still insist.

Stowells and Sunshine

The Stowells belong in California. As I drove Avery, Elyse, and Clara to the beach in Claire's car, I realized that I had somehow stepped into her beautiful life for a day. The children are so radiantly magic. We love the energy, love and passion that Rob and Claire have taught and modeled for them. If you love the stowell's, check out their recent photo session at this website. It makes me cry every time.

Matt's sitcom family

So Matt and I went to California last minute for a date to the temple in which we were married.

We also spent some quality time with his family which included a cookie baking contest.

Morphises have a thing for making good cookies. Its a huge source of pride for them. You can imagine the fun when David, Mandy and Matt all created their cookies for a panel of judges. Somehow they were all really gross.

The most shocking were Mandy's. Her secret ingredients included: nutmeg, almond extract, chocolate, peanut butter, sour cream?, white chocolate chips, and oatmeal - all together.

Hey, I look like a Brady bunch boy again!

Surgery with Flakes

Maxwell had his tonsils and adenoids out. We expect full recovery to include: better sleep, expanded appetite, and reduction in household mucous. In the meantime, Matt and I skipped town for his recovery period - bad mom -bad dad.

Its a good thing Lester the flakyfriend was here to see him through.

Yeah, Its Good to Be Here

Digable Planets has a song that begins, "Its good to be here". I groove to it when I realize how blessed I am. I love being back in my house again. This window - kids - simple moment - beauty. I love having our little friends join their rhythms to our happy pulsing.

Mormon Superstition

Josie and Maxwell are cousins. We like to think of our earth friends as spirit siblings. Maxwell and Josie are Spirit twins.

Cool Kids

Check out my babies. Sabina struts and Max has the same sort of "Jason-Priestly-Je-ne-sais-quois" that Billy has on fly days.

Euonymus for Easters

The children think the Easter bunny is great this year. The bunny managed to remember that little boys really do like purple lambs, that euonymus is a cool substitute for easter grass, and that nail polish, gum, and bubbles are worth their 22 hour life span.

Grandma Sweet Helen is a Good Sport

Yes, we have managed to cajole my paternal Grandmother into occasional sleepovers. The kids love having such a fun and indulgent house guest and had no reluctance waking her or begging for non-stop stories and attention. This is from Easter - clearly.

Texas Winter

Our Texas Winter consisted of: One morning's celebration, A return to our beloved cottage and porch, Remembering those sisters who knitted our scarves, and a realization that Max has never even needed a hat or gloves in his life. March 7, 2008

Puppy Love

I'm off the hook. Grace will read to the kids. Story written illustrated and published by Annie the fantastic twin sister artist! Visit her at http://anniepoon.com.

Okay Already! I'm out! I mean, I'm in! I mean, I will!

So I never even checked my own blog for the past couple of months. It stressed me to know that I hadn't posted any photos or blogs. I did what I could and blocked all permissions...

I thought I would be more relaxed knowing that no one would expect me to produce.

Instead, everyone who loves me enough to actually check my blog got their feelings hurt.

To the collective whole who has email me, called, and asked Matt....

No I am not mad at you! I love you and to prove it, I'll give you 12 new posts in the next 12 hours.

Cheers. I love you friends.

Catherine

"Construction of Disorder"

Construction of Disorder

Bang bang bam bam bam screech radio
sirens in the distance
closing in
silence.

At midnight I jumped out of bed and into my car. Either a drive by shooting or a huge car accident yanking out my sleep.

4 blocks with windows down
Scared remembering
Count them now
Too many
All the lights

I can’t tell what is happening, why such a big hunk of car parts is like that
Where are the people? Listen to the man on the phone.

Two SUVs racing, truck at the light
Swerving then smashing
Twisting then rolling
Banging then crashing
Silence

Approaching the pile, there is one man hanging and limp sandy hair, the gold truck is okay it’s the other two that are one.

Open Umbrella shamrocks metal
Everywhere books flap in the breeze
Spines tell Therapy
Constructions of Disorder
Legal Practice

He’s so polite each time I’m asked to step away. Don’t touch the books. This is a crime scene. Please step away.

Air balloons lights uniforms crowding
Board and straps and teasing
Alive one alive
Moving crimson arms
Ambulance

This is why I’m still here. I’m waiting for the miracle. Or waiting to see death in that same misshapen way.

Metal – man’s womb or tomb
Born kicking and wet
Attendants
Hope answered
2 Alive

Walking past me I hear the officer. Get your stuff out - the one hanging out of the car still has a pulse. Why aren’t they running?

Released from fear by improbably hope, I return home at 12:28. The calm good police officer waves me through and I pray for the rescue workers so strong and present.

What would those 4 men think of calmly walking into a peaceful home tonight?

Sleeping - Matt exhales as I push my lips to his pulsing neck and realize what he is. He is the calm rescue worker. I feel selfish for directing his energy all to me and the children. It is good. Thank you God for this man. Thank you God for the men and women still in uniform.

Another day is gone

This is such a precious season in my life as a mother. I often dream about heaven in a way that lets me off the hook from daily journals. In heaven, our sorrows and sins will be resolved and forgiven. Our beautiful memories and relationships will flood our perfect minds with each brief moment, scent, embrace, sound, and impression that could not linger on Earth.

My heaven will recall the soft pink fingers of my children grasping my hand as they wobbily learn to walk by my side.

My heaven has the paprika scent of sweaty baby hair.

My heaven knows a warm child is pressed safely against me as I try to sleep.

My heaven cries for dead bugs and laughs at heartbeats.

The brass bell on my heaven's door rings all day as Matt and the children arrive home and come straight to me for a kiss.

In my heaven, the sounds of laughter and song mingle with birds and wind and trampoline springs.

Heaven is here now.

Tonight we were reviewing photos of the prophets. Maxwell found one of President Gorden B. Hinckley and loudly exclaimed: "He's not dead anymowe! Yay! We have anothowe Hodee Hee Hinkee!" I guess Maxwell thinks this is heaven too.

What strangers say

Strangers say the weirdest things to me. I believe there is something about having an entourage of rowdy children everywhere I go that makes people feel comfortable opening up. From condescending to fabulous, we've heard some very interesting comments this week.

The worst is, "Bless your soul" accompanied by a sad head shake. Its as though these people look at my children as some kind of disease that I am patiently enduring.

"Is that whole basketball team yours?" I've been asked while toting Josie around too. I like this because it shows fast counting, sports awareness, and sociability.

"You're too young to have that many children" Is actually the most common remark. Next time I'll tell them that I'm 22 and almost all women can have children when they're 15. I'm glad to finally be 30 because that is respectable age to have 4 kids by.

And the strangest, "Has anyone told you that you have a beautiful face? You should be on a Jello Carton!" Hmmm, okay.

Come to find out

My mother called me tonight to tell me I'm like a thorougbred horse. She's proud that I've gotten into shape the old fashioned way instead of the Dallas way, and somehow that makes her think I'm like this athletic breed of horse. She even slipped in that I'm "a bit high-strung". I like that! Thanks mom!

If you're family you're hyper

Last night, Cousins Joe and Jessica and kids were here for the night. Matt made his famous cookies and somehow we all ended up going totally crazy. We played a game in which we pretended to be hotdogs cooking, then ran around the house screaming, "one down!" every time one of the kids was knocked onto the ground in pain. Spontaneous tickle attacks followed. We piled up like a bunch of punch-drunk cheerleaders. Joe's the first man to join the Benac Family "Bound Lotus" gallery at http://www.benac.com/yoga.html . Mom - you can use this photo.

Joy complete

Today was the most beautiful joyful day. Every moment was saturated with loving children. Their darling voices and heartfelt conversations reached beyond all the stress and distractions of late and illuminated the tender purpose of my life.

What a blessing to be surrounded by angels.

This photo was taken when I found Sabina and Lille falling asleep together on my bed the other day. The dynamic of multiple children evokes such a real tenderness and empathy during the shining moments.

Lille's big day

Lille had an amazing birthday gathering at Joe and Jessica's farm. It was pretty fantastic. Thanks to Ram for taking some great little photos of the kiddos.

Exit Strategy

Disclaimer 1: I don't think clearly while exercising.
Disclaimer 2: I found this ugly photo online. Its no one I know.

On Monday I ran my first 10 mile loop around White Rock Lake. I had a late start, but was committed so I found myself alone half way around the lake and in the dark with nary a light on a cold night. Although it was romantic and beautiful it was also stupid and scary.

This is how I coped. I developed what seemed to me a bullet-proof strategy for how to deal with a scary man if one should happen to try to attack me. Ready, this is brilliant!

As soon as someone came close I would - get this - run like a mad woman straight for the lake and swim straight into the middle of it. In my exercise state of mind, I knew that the water would be friendly to me and freezing for a bad person. I would be an expert swimmer and the villain would surely be a stupid unfit louse who couldn't swim and would be overwhelmed by my confident and clever escape.

I wised up. Today for my long run, I joined a complete stranger for the loop and told him my entire life story without even bothering to get a good look at him... I even told him about my exit strategy for escaping villains. Runner's brain, I guess.

New Year's Day

I'm allowed to be optimistic and ideal today - Its a New Year.

Our perfect day included: Matt was home! He made breakfast while I slept in.

I found my lost jacket in the locker at the gym.

I bought running tights and a top with a gift card, random 40% discount (because I asked and looked confused) and a coupon from a stranger. The kids were home this time instead of playing hide and seek in the clothes rack and using me as kleenex.

We spent the afternoon flying kites and picnicking with wonderful friends at the park. The stray bulldog that plowed into Sabina didn't even make her flinch. She just wanted it to come back and play.

A stop-in at Mom and Dad's yielded another great gift - a car DVD player.

I ran 10 miles without breaking a sweat - too slow I guess but I ran a 10 min mile. I ran around White Rock Lake at sunset and reveled in the beauty of the water. The magic of the water recalled my watery youth - on board the family boats and by the family pond.

During Family Home Evening the kids sang "I have a family here on earth" in a beautiful round that brought tears to my eyes. They wrote their goals in their journals and didn't even think to ask for a single thing. Everything they want involves doing something instead of buying something.

For snack, we introduced the kids to jijffy pop. They really thought we were performing magic when the tin foil top of the pan expanded. Maxwell hid behind the door when I tried to show him the full foil. When the foil was burst a collective sigh was heard and the kids dove in.

After FHE, I made a ton of Amish Frienship bread while Matt went running. A long bath and scripture reading completed our evening. Hmmm. Is this making anyone sick yet?

Well, I had a great day and I'm not ashamed of that! Can it really get better? Well, I will admit that the house is a complete mess.

Sooooo, Goals for next year? If you've read this far, you're either really bored or really love us. In 2008 we will: read the whole Book of Mormon with the kids, Cat will do a 1/2 ironman, Matt will make more moola and have more time off to spend with the family, Grace will become a better swimmer and swim in the ocean in California, Lille will ride horses, Maxwell will go to the circus, and Sabina will learn sign language.

Cheers and New Years!

Merry Christmas From the Morphis Clan!

JOY

We've arrived!!!!!

If you're the jealous type - you now hate me. Tonight I arrived home and found a delectable tin of what appear to be the most creative and delicious homemade cookies from here to Krypton. We had to pause our binging to take this photo. We will never forget the day that our lives reached the implausibly delightful zenith of satisfaction.

I'll spare you the ingredient details except that those brownies have peppermint patties baked into the middle - holy-oh my-can't believe it- toledo! Thanks Michelle and Amber!

Who's Home Tonight

Oh, the joy these two bring!
When we arrived home the place stunk. Sure enough all of Maxwell's cars and planes had been having a private barbecue on the floor furnace. They look cooler now, but don't drive too well.
No, this is not my kid. Meet Josie. She has her own bed here and even has jammies that match the rest of ours. She is a cousin.
Sabina knows she is a babe.
Lille is such a beautiful mix of big and little.
Grace found another "beautiful cockroach". We're all family in this old house.

Glory Moocher

Sunday was the White Rock Marathon. I'm all beat up. My legs kill. I'm super tired. My knee and elbow are bruised and scabby. Did I run the marathon? NO! I'm just a unabashed glory mooch. I worked my way into the pre-race morning, onto the course, and into the finishers party with such elan I should get a medal.

Meet my friends Amy and Sarah. These women are amazing. They've been training intensely for months and both were absolutely astonishing during this race. Despite all their scat concerns, they managed to both finish the race with wonderful times.

Sarah finished the half in under 2 hours, then the whole race in 4:27 (10:13 pace) and Amy finished her marathon in only 3:48 running an 8:43. Did you catch that!? Amy's time is 348 and 843 348843... totally mystically yin yangily transcendentally perfectly completely divine time.

Anyway... Check out how Jared is the prettiest one in this photo...
This is the story of my glory moochin' day:
1. I picked up Amy and Sarah and got to share the whole morning's concerns: jitters/potty needs /strange foods /adjustments/clothes changes /stress meanness/ please moon me at mile 20 requests...
2. In HP, I was stationed along the course at mile 4.5 and became so boisterous in my cheers that a very angry father came out of his home and barked me off his property for waking his sleeping children with my glory shouts. I replied, "Oh, Sorry, Just one more good one!" and yelling fiercely, spotted Amy and joined her whooping and hollering for a few blocks before fading out to find and scream for Sarah.
3. I swung by my Dad's house and nabbed his bike from the garage and set off with two badly deflated tires. I weaved around the busy streets trying to stay away from the runners, but ended up having to follow the same road as them for a while over by the lake. Trying to leave the runners the pavement, I stayed on the banks and completely wiped out on my bike in front of about 100 runners. Thus the bruises and scrapes.
4. Worried about missing Amy and Sarah during the lake run I took a shortcut over a steep hill and through the woods. I burst out onto the trail and spooked Amy by showing up at a very random spot yelling and cheering. That is when she mentioned that it was totally against the rules to have a bike on the course and not to get too close to her... In a nice, I'm glad you're here way.
5. At mile 13, I cheered for the runners then I stashed the bike behind a park office and hopped in Jared's car to avoid the rain.
6. At mile 19, I gave Amy a surprise message written on a bummer banner.
7. At mile 24, I was fully dressed in Amy's clothes with a number on my shirt. She was feeling pretty beat and actually said she wanted me to join her. I ran the race whooping and cheering for Amy until the end.
8. I jumped out of the race 25 meters before the finish line and into a surprised crowd. Then I jumped back over the 8 ft fence on the other side of the finish when the guard looked away. Amy was dazed and confused and fantastic as a finisher. My favorite glory mooching was when she let me hug her as she cried in her endorphin popping way.
9. I somehow got past the guard and into the finishers party.
10. Sarah was so darling and wonderful and strong and concerned when she finished. Her determined yet dazed look was endlessly endearing as she tried to figure out how to find her husband and sister in law.
11. I even got to escort the amazing ladies to their dear waiting families after the race then mooch a ride to my car.

What a day! I wonder though... I didn't do the race because it was on a Sunday. It probably would have been a more reverent day if I had just run instead of acting the way I did.

Cheers!

Hi there, Highland Park Village!

HP Village has the distinction of being the oldest and finest mall in the country. With stores such as Hermes, Jimmy Choo, Chanel, Escada, Harold's, and Cole Haan it may also be populated by the richest people, nicest cars, and most flashy outfits. Since its so totally me (choke!) I even got my first job there as a 16 year old back in the delusional day of filial dependence.

Why do I tell you this? Because I'm about to introduce a spectacular Catherine moment that took place in this very spot just the other day. I'm warning you, my 7 year old thinks this is inappropriate to share.

Friday night Matt picked up the kids and I headed to the gym for treadmill time. After about 40 minutes, the gym closed and I was soaked through with sweat. Unable to shower, I grabbed my gym bag and hopped in the car.

Two blocks later I passed the illustrious Highland Park Village and my favorite store - Anthropologie. In a moment I decided two things: 1. I wanted to shop in Anthropologie and 2. I had to change into dry clothes to do so.

I pulled into a quiet and dark side entrance to this outdoor shopping mall and thinking only of making the store before closing, quickly shed my soaking shirt and sports bra. That moment, I looked up.

Ahhhhh! There was a very fast and professional valet attendant marching towards my car with all due speed as I realized in terror that my clothes were out of reach and my wet clothes too wadded to get back over my head.

Soooooo, completely topless I sat tall and reversed my little Civic and screeched backwards at full throttle away from the startled attendant, past the pedestrian shoppers, and away from the other cars that were pulling into the valet line.

Helloooo! In a classic Catherine-turned-her-brain-off-moment I failed to realize that no my car is not invisible and neither am I... I found a true quiet street, got dressed and drove home.

At least I didn't freeze in terror and try to carry on a conversation at the window with the poor valet.

Happy Thanksgiving! Start loving!

On Wednesday night, I paid a visit to sick Amy L. She asked me if I wanted to use her number to run the 8 mile Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving day.

Well, I've never run that far before, so I said, "sure!"

Dallas was freezing cold for the first time all year on Thanksgiving am. Matt is too tough for pants or anything warm and insisted that I should wear shorts and a simple running shirt so that I wouldn't get too hot running. I think he's trying to save money by not buying anymore clothes.

So, I set out wearing nothing but my shorts, shirt, and shoes into the freezing morning.

Thank goodness that I am willing to accept help from sick people who want to be in bed. Amy Lawson heard that I was out in the cold without protection and jumped in her car with her best running tights, jacket, and gloves. She met me, feeling only pretty crappy, at the Dart Station.

I thanked her by putting on her clothes, then locking her out of her car and hopping on the bus to go to the race. I guess she managed.

Holy Toledo! There were 32,000+ runners in the race.... Yes that's 3 zeros. The first couple miles were slow as I wound through downtown Dallas trying to get ahead of strollers, dogs, and slow-pokes. I am happy to admit that my run was a 10 minute miler overall including the potty stop.

My thoughts during the run: I love Dallas, I love these people, I'm thankful for my body, My friends are amazing, My family is incredible, I can't wait to eat Thanksgiving Dinner.

After the race, I arrived home and made my butternut squash/apple/curry soup while Matt and the kids baked pies. Then we went to my parents house and binged after which we had a swim party in the 100 degree pool while Dallas had its first snow fall of the year.
What a swell holiday.

Why I don't call anymore

Hello friends,

I think I should tell you this. I melted my cell phone on the floor furnace a couple of weeks ago and don't have any telephone numbers. Please call me if you love me so that I can get your numbers again. Amy B., Kim H, Christie C, Meredith F., Cristy P. - I really can't find your numbers.

Stowell's Sneaky Sunday

It takes a special family to feel at home in our funny little cottage with very few modern conveniences and a ton of kiddos.

Claire and Clara on our front lawn (unjoined by the grass-averse Rob)

Our favorite Stowell's are moving to California in a week. We will weep and wail for sure. Today, they played hookie from church and came to stay the afternoon with us for a bit more family time.

Max and Clara spent time reading together on the top bunk and gathering acorns. Elyse, Avery, Grace and Lille alternated between the trampoline, stuffed animals, and tea parties. After Claire's yummy dinner, Rob, Claire, Matt, and Catherine mostly just ate candy bars without the kids.

Family Biking

We've arrived! Matt and I have been dreaming of the day when the entire family could bike together.

Grandpa Bill cashed in his parking points for a couple of new bikes for Matt and me, and Claire found us a bike trailer for the babies. Grace and Lille have been weaned off training wheels since Spring and waiting for a ride on the Katy Trail all together.

Dad came over and escorted our family all around town then up and down the trail followed by hot dogs and ice cream at Harry's!

Fantastic Fun for all! Grace and Lille only fell a dozen or so times, and Max only tormented Sabina a tad.

What a day to love Dallas! 80 degrees in November and in such a fabulous location!

Catherine Cocktail

Amy Lawson over at granolasdodallas.blogspot.com said I have to say 7 things no one* knows about me on my blog. She's in charge. Here they are:

1. Talking gets me into trouble and I'll hug almost anyone when emotional: When Lille was a newborn I hustled into my ghetto Salt Lake City home just as the phone rang. Setting the child's car seat on the porch, I ran in to get the phone. It was a friend and a long phone call ensued. A few minutes later I swung the front door closed still gabbing.

A full 45 minutes later a timid knock was heard on the door. Clueless, I opened the door to find a strange meth-type man (as per ghetto regulations) motioning to my abandoned child. He simply said, "Your baby is crying".

Immediately weeping, I ran out and hugged the man then gathered my neglected offspring up. I've since had 2 more children - and only occasionally leave them on the front porch.

2. I love to have rigid rules - they're more fun to break. For example:
- I don't like soda, and lose interest after the first initial sip. It almost never occurs to me to drink soda when thirsty except when - I picked up a random old Fresca bottle off a roof top in Mexico and tried to down it before I was choked by moldy buggy spook juice.
- I tried to win a "drinking contest" in front of a couple hundred people at a zoo by chugging an entire litre of pepsi. I was the only woman in a line of beer-bellied biggies. When the prize was announced as a $100 gift certificate to Circuit City, Matt yelled, "Go Catherine!" So, although wearing the fancy clothes and shoes and looking pretty Molly, I decided to sell my soul and my prude caffeine-free morals for the chance. On go, I almost had it. I was a winner! But soon the fizz started pushing that soda right back up the throat and oozing pepsi out my nose. Dizzy and belching I made the mistake of pausing to contemplate weather puking in front of a crowd was worth $100. By the time I decided that YES! it was, I had lost. I think the 2 minute public belch Matt witnessed was worth more than the $100 anyway.

3. I fell off a cliff called Death Wish once while trying to teach boy scouts about safe rock climbing.
4. I've never done a single push-up in my entire life. Believe it! I have tried and actually fallen on my face on numerous occasions. (I can do the "girly" ones - duh!)
5. When I was a girl the gnat clouds that would swarm around me flattered me. In my vain world, I honestly believed that they thought I was their Queen and were trying to be near me by virtue of my greatness.
6. As an adult, I still think I am the bug-Queen. Only the bugs are children, their swarming still makes me feel really important.
7. My first kiss was on an uninhabited island.


I now pass this 7 item business on to these friends:

Christie Curtis
Amy Bankhead
Sarah Tippetts
Cassie Stewart
Mary Benac
Mary Arnquist
Annie Benac

*Matt knows everything

Easy, Delicious, Nutritious, Filling

Creamed soups, pies, muffins, roasts, curries, and fancy omelettes have all come steamin' out of my kitchen this last couple of weeks. The kids (and sometimes Matt) are just wishing I would go back to my half-sleep state of pre-weaned Sabina.

I've been on a fruit and veggie kick lately. Each day I've made elaborate meals that, while I enjoy, the kids generally try to escape from. My favorites so far have been the butternut squash soup and turnip, leek, potato, squash soup. The easy loser was the dinner in a pumpkin. the Things came to a head on Sunday when I was so frustrated that no one was eating that I actually threw cooked onions at my dear husband and stormed out the door. I'll spare you the details.

Not one to give up, I created another meal today. Here's the mix:
rinsed black beans (from a can)
rinsed corn (from a can)
freshly pressed garlic
basil
fresh grape tomatoes (chopped)
any yummy cheese (fresh mozzarella or muenster or whatever you've got)
tortillas
(onions are conspicuously absent while we forget about Sunday's incident)

I sauteed the veggies and basil with butter salt and pepper. After heating up the tortillas on the burner until they looked like they'd burn (no pan for better taste - gas works best), I threw on the veggie mix and some fresh cheese and rolled the burrito. Everything melted together and tasted amazing!

Max wouldn't touch it (of course) but Sabina really enjoyed her pile of cheesy veggies.

If someone uses this I'll die of disbelief.

Sabina can march!

Her sweet cautious walk is well worth the wait

The Girls

Aren't they perfect?!

Am I too late for Pumpkins?

Maxwell's moment with the pumpkins

Lille out the Window

From the front door I am happily greeted by sweet Lille out the playroom window.

Morning with Max and Bea

Fear is good for a child, right? I've made dozens of Halloween bean bags for the kids to play with. Maxwell is fascinated with them. As he plays with them he jabbers in his barely decipherable language. "Spiderwebs are scary - they're laughing at me. Skulls are bad guys they are going to eat me, huh. These are scary bad guys, They are going to get me". I think